As a childless man, they will have to pry my work from home out of my cold, lots of free time having hands.

Only because doing that will force you to buy a new phone.

When they are already looking for an excuse to do it.

Why not both?
https://youtu.be/ug5IHeEUVDA

There is only one place pineapple belongs …

In HELL.

or what the hell they do if there was emergency that ambulance needed access

I’m guessing they would get out of the way?

I nominate the guy that created RealPlayer.

Ohh no. Please don’t destroy call centers. What will we do without them. Ohh the humanity.