Yup, it absolutely crushes them to not only think that someone would actively reject masculinity, but it also can trigger some serious issues questioning their sexuality when they’re attracted to a transwoman. It’s kind of a “Hurt itself in its confusion” moment because their internal crisis could be fixed by just saying “Yeah, I like women and she is a woman” but instead have this deep sense of self-hatred because they’re attracted to “a guy”.

It’s also part of the reason they really don’t give a shit about transmen. It’s understandable they’d want to want to be a man, because of course they would, being a man is awesome! They don’t have to question their sexuality, because even if they’re super masc, they’re still a woman, so they’re definitely not even a little gay.

Use they, unless you know their pronouns. Unfortunately, a lot of people use “they” because they don’t want to use the correct pronouns and it seems more innocent than just overtly misgendering someone.