

Icelandic has no word for “a.” A noun without a definite article suffix can be either “noun” or “a noun.” Then there is a suffix for definite article (epli “apple” -> eplið “the apple”). There is also a slightly more obscure hinn/hin/hið which can mean “the” as a separate word, but that’s not really used in most situations.
Definitely an overreaction lol.
But why are you not sold on Gemini? I mean, does it even need selling? Does Gopher need a selling point? They’re both deliberately simple protocols that work basically only on text. Gemini itself was conceived as an alternative to the modern web, deliberately simple in most ways, but not as simple as Gopher.