Sorry for being rather acidic, I got hung up on the “this one post tells me enough”, it sounded arrogant to me and my answer to it was over the top and unnecessarily unfriendly. Thank you for trying to help and giving advice. I really hope my reaction doesn’t put you off trying to help others online in the future!

You’re latching on to one half ironic thing I wrote so you can prove that something is seriously wrong with me? Maybe you need to talk to a professional? Lack of object permanence is one of many symptoms of autism. It makes my life a little more difficult because I sometimes have to remind myself that I can and should continue to connect with people not in my immediate surroundings. I do not literally believe they disappear and I’m sure my other answers must reflect somehow that I’m not a delusional solipsist. But hey, whatever supports your self importance.

Wow aren’t you a genius armchair psychologist to learn enough about people’s mental state in only one post - are you aware how condescending that sounds?

I sometimes wish I could just drop all hope, but it always keeps popping up again. I’m a hopeless optimist, or maybe an optimistic hopeless person? ‘Healthy’ is a very subjective thing, there’s no ‘one fits all’ solution - you can pursue the most healthy activities in very unhealthy ways, and use the most unhealthy stuff to keep alive and somewhat happy, so what?

the transient nature of everything; the only constant is change, and it is inevitable

Thank you for your thorough reply, I’ve been checking the DBT page and there’s a lot of good stuff there!

It’s funny that for me the transient nature of everything is as much comfort as it is reason for concern and discomfort - I’ve always wanted some kind of ‘static’ situation or find ‘the right way of understanding life’, and it took me a while to come to terms with the fact that everything changes all the time, that there never will be a standstill, or arrival at some final truth, or a place where one can rest and trust everything will always stay the same. I guess this desire for things to ‘stay the same’ is also part of the autism, I call it ‘sticky thoughts’. I’m still learning to embrace that everything is and always will be moving and I slowly ease into just being more curious and feeling comfortable with letting stuff happen and not panic about it.

I wish my damn biology reminded me that I’m hungry before I reach the state of hangry doom - but hey I’m afraid of train tracks as well and always keep hydrated, and I managed to bake some yummy bread today that I actually like to eat.

That biological urge to stay alive might completely fuck up my retirement plan of jumping off a bridge when my body starts falling apart. I probably should make a better plan before I reach my 60s.

I have zero trust in prescription drugs and the people who prescribe them. I’ve seen several peoples’ lives destroyed. I’ve seen family members turned into literal potatoes and addicts by the trial and error fuckery that is psychiatry - I know I’ll probably be downvoted to hell for this but that’s what it is for me. If you think someone else can assess your brain better that you can do it yourself and that the pharmaceutical industry has your best interest in mind then we will have to respectfully disagree with each other. I know that psychiatric drugs and DSM-based diagnoses help a lot of people, and I respect that it works for them, but I’ll steer clear of that. If that’s called hard mode so be it.

I like that, I try to remember being curious every day!

I don’t watch the news at all and curate political stuff out of my feeds as much as I can. Thanks for the links, going to check them out!

Well it’s the 'tism and I am self aware about the issue, and I don’t think any therapist is just going to delete the autism from my brain by talking with them more, but thanks?

Before knowing about this new information I had the feeling that a badly torn and stitched together sheep’s udder with a really big hole started healing a lot faster when I stopped doing (in this order) Peroxide - Betadine - Omnimatrix - Charcoal and just went with Betadine - Omnimatrix - Charcoal. It’s very anecdotal data from one sheep, but I find it interesting to be confirmed by some science.

Oh I love this one! I’m all for slowing down!

Unfortunately I already played my “going to another country where it’s all better” card 25 years ago, and because of that didn’t even notice I was autistic for quite some time, so there’s some truth in that.

At this point I can report that I’m repulsed by my native country’s culture, my country of residence’s culture, and probably that of any other country once I learn enough about it. So my main criteria for finding a new place at this point are “Small affordable house with a garden for rent, understand the language at least a little, rural area in the mountains without too many fascists, not too dry and hot”. Let the other expats have all the beaches and leave me alone.

I guess I do have some people? Lack of object permanence doesn’t help the situation very much. Who can prove my loved ones even exist when they are not here?

Good point, and I do wish I had some jazz cabbage together with the self discipline to enjoy it in moderation, but I spent the last months under an atmosphere so heavy with smoke I’m actually surprised they didn’t send a fire fighter plane to my house. I’ve got to take a break at least for a while.

As you can see it’s going great so far. /s

Or is he?

That as well. Don’t want my dad to be sad, he’s a good guy.

Don’t bite off more than you can chew, I hope it gets brighter once we’re older!

That does it for me on some days, and by the amount of likes it seems to be quite a common thing. If only I could channel the spite and rage away from the internet into real life. Found a nice motorway bridge and thought about hanging up some protest banner - but then people would read it and that’s all. Need to accumulate more rage before acting, maybe until I’m angry enough to put up a strongly worded protest banner.

Trying to find somewhere quite like here but not entirely, just so I can get busy with the relocating and building something new. It’s a hack, but an interesting one. Of course, on the other side of the fence we’ll meet our face in the mirror yet again.

But I need it for myself!